The premise of the movie: Average guy (Joe) in hibernation experiment wakes up 500Â years later to find out American intelligence has been dumbed down — literally transported to the shallow end of the gene pool fueled by generations of advertising and marketing.
The problem with this dystopian fantasy is that it’s too close to the truth: The number-one TV show is ‘Ow, My Balls,’ the Secretary of State is brought to you by Carl’s Jr., and the smart lawyer got into Costco’s law school because his dad pulled some strings.
The world’s food supply is also in trouble because farmers put Brawndo — a kind of sports-beverage for plants — on their crops instead of water. Joe tries to talk them out of it:
Joe: “For the last time, I’m pretty sure what’s killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.”
Secretary of State: “But Brawndo’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.”
Attorney General (Sara Rue): “So wait a minute. What you’re saying is that you want us to put water on the crops.”
Attorney General: “Water. Like out the toilet?”
Joe: “Well, I mean, it doesn’t have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that’s the idea.”
Secretary of State: “But Brawndo’s got what plants crave.”
Attorney General: “It’s got electrolytes.”
Joe: “Okay, look. The plants aren’t growing, so I’m pretty sure that the Brawndo’s not working. Now, I’m no botanist, but I do know that if you put water on plants, they grow.”
Secretary of Energy (Brendan Hill): “Well, I’ve never seen no plants grow out of no toilet.”
Secretary of State: “Hey, that’s good. You sure you ain’t the smartest guy in the world?”
Joe: “Okay, look. You wanna solve this problem. I wanna get my pardon. So why don’t we just try it, okay, and not worry about what plants crave?”
Attorney General: “Brawndo’s got what plants crave.”
Secretary of Energy: “Yeah, it’s got electrolytes.”
Joe: “What are electrolytes? Do you even know?”
Secretary of State: “It’s what they use to make Brawndo.”
Joe: “Yeah, but why do they use them to make Brawndo?”
Secretary of Defense: “‘Cause Brawndo’s got electrolytes.”
Just a word to the wise.