{"id":209,"date":"2007-07-20T19:08:11","date_gmt":"2007-07-21T02:08:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.remarc.com\/craig\/?p=209"},"modified":"2007-07-22T15:57:04","modified_gmt":"2007-07-22T22:57:04","slug":"brawndos-got-what-plants-crave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/?p=209","title":{"rendered":"Brawndo’s got what plants crave"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"idiocracy\"<\/a>The dialog below is from the 2006 movie, Idiocracy<\/a>. But to really appreciate it, you should listen to this mp3<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The premise of the movie: Average guy (Joe) in hibernation experiment wakes up 500\u00c2\u00a0years later to find out American intelligence has been dumbed down — literally transported to the shallow end of the gene pool fueled by generations of advertising and marketing.<\/p>\n

The problem with this dystopian fantasy is that it’s too close to the truth: The number-one TV show is ‘Ow, My Balls,’ the Secretary of State is brought to you by Carl’s Jr., and the smart lawyer got into Costco’s law school because his dad pulled some strings.<\/p>\n

The world’s food supply is also in trouble because farmers put Brawndo — a kind of sports-beverage for plants — on their crops instead of water. Joe tries to talk them out of it:<\/p>\n

Joe: “For the last time, I’m pretty sure what’s killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.”
\nSecretary of State: “But Brawndo’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.”
\nAttorney General (Sara Rue): “So wait a minute. What you’re saying is that you want us to put water on the crops.”
\nJoe: “Yes.”
\nAttorney General: “Water. Like out the toilet?”
\nJoe: “Well, I mean, it doesn’t have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that’s the idea.”
\nSecretary of State: “But Brawndo’s got what plants crave.”
\nAttorney General: “It’s got electrolytes.”
\nJoe: “Okay, look. The plants aren’t growing, so I’m pretty sure that the Brawndo’s not working. Now, I’m no botanist, but I do know that if you put water on plants, they grow.”
\nSecretary of Energy (Brendan Hill): “Well, I’ve never seen no plants grow out of no toilet.”
\nSecretary of State: “Hey, that’s good. You sure you ain’t the smartest guy in the world?”
\nJoe: “Okay, look. You wanna solve this problem. I wanna get my pardon. So why don’t we just try it, okay, and not worry about what plants crave?”
\nAttorney General: “Brawndo’s got what plants crave.”
\nSecretary of Energy: “Yeah, it’s got electrolytes.”
\nJoe: “What are electrolytes? Do you even know?”
\nSecretary of State: “It’s what they use to make Brawndo.”
\nJoe: “Yeah, but why do they use them to make Brawndo?”
\nSecretary of Defense: “‘Cause Brawndo’s got electrolytes.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Just a word to the wise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The dialog below is from the 2006 movie, Idiocracy. But to really appreciate it, you should listen to this mp3. The premise of the movie: Average guy (Joe) in hibernation experiment wakes up 500\u00c2\u00a0years later to find out American intelligence has been dumbed down — literally transported to the shallow end of the gene pool … Continue reading “Brawndo’s got what plants crave”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,37,17,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bummers","category-meta","category-politics","category-soil"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ellishollow.remarc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}